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FIC: Irrational Expressions
inukai hands
prillalar wrote in inukai_exchange
Title: Irrational Expressions
Author: espial
Recipient: manderskoinu
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3214
Warnings: Sex, blow job
Summary: Inui figures out that the ratio between Kaidoh's hip and waist measurements has nothing to do with how he feels.

Author's Notes: Please enjoy. :)

Inui knew that the phenomenon known as coincidences didn't exist. Every situation had statistical data that could be used to determine the probability of a scenario's occurrence. For example, the apartment's air conditioning unit breaking two weeks into a month long heat wave, was due to lack of maintenance. The fact that the university library was filled with chattering people rather than students and comfortable silence- only proved that people would go to great lengths to avoid discomfort. Inui watched as two girls, who had been giggling loudly, were reprimanded by the library aide. He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed as they left. He turned back to his text book, the subject matter was less than inspiring, a stilted prerequisite course that he had been forced to take. He looked forward to the upcoming term where he could take the classes that truly inspired him. Inui dutifully wrote out the assignment taking answers from the notes written in the margin of the text and drawing on his memories of conversations with classmates.

Assignment finished, Inui rose, intent on finding something to distract himself from the heat, when returned to his apartment. He browsed a shelf mentally dismissing books and authors. Inui was jolted from his thoughts when someone collided bodily with him. Automatically, he stepped back, mouth moving to apologize when he saw who had crashed into him. The words died on his lips, Inui's heart completed an awkward flip-flop in his chest. His mind went into overdrive, recalling percentages, simulations, desperately searching for something to say. Inui's hand moved seemingly on it's own to steady the other person.


Inui continued to stare unblinking at Kaidoh, and for once in his life he couldn't think of anything to say. He was reminded forcibly of how close they had been, and how much he liked Kaidoh. Inui cleared his throat, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Kaidoh." Inui's tongue was heavy, mouth dry. Under his fingertips, Kaidoh's arm flexed, Inui stepped closer impulsively. There weren't any coincidences, but there wasn't any data to support the theory that Kaidoh would attend the same university as Inui, and an even smaller probability that they'd meet like this.

"You look well." Inui mentally shook himself and took, a step back. Kaidoh ducked his head, Inui instantly mourning the loss of eye contact. "What are you doing here?"
Kaidoh's lips twitched upward as he spoke, "Studying, senpai."

"Studying what?" Inui found himself moving in once more, as though the other man had a gravitational pull.

"Veterinary medicine." Kaidoh's response was quiet, Inui leaning in even closer to catch the words. This close, Inui could see the shy pride in Kaidoh's eyes. The small smile that let Inui know that Kaidoh was pleased to see him. A crash startled both of them. Inui drew back as a flustered boy intruded on their quiet to pick up the books.

"Where are you sitting, Senpai?" Kaidoh's question drew Inui's attention back to him. They ended up at Inui's table surrounded by books. Kaidoh's knee bumped against Inui's making it harder to stay focused. Carefully, Inui angled his chair a bit more to the right, Kaidoh's thigh a warm line against his own, their arms barely touching as they studied.

Inui broke the silence first, snapping his text book closed. He watched as Kaidoh continued to make notes, frowning at a handout. "Your biology instructor is Mizuno-sensei?"

Kaidoh nodded, "I can't find any of the answers in the text or lectures notes." The frown deepened into a scowl, Kaidoh's writing messy with frustration. The lead from his pencil snapped, hit Inui in the hand.

"Mizuno-sensei takes sixty percent of test materials from outside sources." Inui examined the red mark on his hand. "It's a way to weed out the students who don't care." Inui moved his leg against Kaidoh's, secretly pleased at the blush spreading over the other man's face. "I took his course last year. I'll share my notes with you."


Kaidoh's whispered reprimand caused Inui to chuckle. "Don't think of it as cheating, I'm assisting you." Inui packed his books away. He scrawled his address, handed it to Kaidoh. "Come by any time." Inui rose, his hand intentionally brushing along Kaidoh's arm.

When Inui arrived home, his clothes clung heavily to his body. Inside the apartment he could almost see the heat waves radiating off of every flat surface. He switched on a fan in an effort to get the stale, heavy air moving. He changed, and headed into the kitchen. While standing in front of the open freezer, he gulped down juice. His methods were archaic and desperate but the icy blast was just enough to keep him from going crazy.

He settled on the couch, old notebooks piled on the table in front of him. Inui flipped through them, re-reading the pages he had memorized so long ago. There really wasn't any statistical support, backing the events of the afternoon. He and Kaidoh had remained close friends through high school, but the year apart seemed to rip apart the closeness they had built. Inui hadn't realized the widening gap between them, but as he reviewed the worn notebooks, he could see it clearly. When the sun set, the temperature of the apartment dropped just enough to make the place tolerable. A knock on the door brought Inui out of the past. Kaidoh stood on his doorstep, his back ramrod straight, eyes narrowed and dark. "Senpai, please lend me your notes."

Inui opened the door wider, allowing Kaidoh through. "Come in, I'll get them for you." Inui shut the door, heading back to his bedroom. He found the notebook shoved under his bed along with a sweater he had lost months ago. Kaidoh was still in the entry when Inui came out. "Here," he offered the notebook to Kaidoh. "You can use it as long as you need it." Inui wiped his face, the apartment had become overwhelmingly warm again.

"Senpai, are you alright?" Kaidoh watched him curiously.

"I'm fine." Inui nodded. "Just warm, the air conditioner won't be repaired until next week." He shifted under Kaidoh's heavy stare, figuring he didn't have long until the heat got to Kaidoh as well.

"Senpai, why don't you stay somewhere else?"

"I don't want to impose."

"Stay with me then?" Inui dropped the second notebook, the sound loud in the apartment. "In return for the notes." Kaidoh's voice was low, words rushed as Inui thought about the suggested offer.

"If it's not any trouble."

Kaidoh offered a shy smile in return. "My room mate moved out a few weeks ago. I've got plenty of room."

Inui's hands shook slightly as he packed clothing and necessities into a bag. The numbers weren't right. There was a seventy five percent chance that they could have continued with their friendship, but for Kaidoh to suggest cohabitation was something unaccounted for. Inui made a note to refigure the probability of a further relationship at a later date. The sudden influx of data made his head spin, and fingers itch to find the algorithm to properly express the outcome of this situation.

The night air was muggy and oppressive, the walk to Kaidoh's apartment surprisingly short. Inui was settled into the empty bedroom, unpacked, notebook open when Kaidoh stuck his head in with the call to dinner. They ate in comfortable silence, Inui washed the dishes, Kaidoh drying. The domesticity of it all calmed Inui. Kaidoh's apartment was bigger than his own, free of clutter and precariously stacked piles of books. The tv was small, couch too big for the room, overstuffed and plush, Inui's body sinking into the cushion, Kaidoh settled next to him. Inui woke several hours later, Kaidoh's head on his shoulder, light blanket draped over them. Inui tensed when a weight settled in his lap, a grey cat kneaded at his thigh, rumbling purr radiating through his skin. He stroked the cat, fingers burrowing in the long fur, the cat's purring growing louder. Cautiously, Inui scratched under the cat's chin, smiling when it nuzzled against his hand. He bit his lip to keep from making noise when it bit him.

Morning brought Inui a cramp in his neck, a purring, sleeping cat in his lap, and Kaidoh slumped against him, snoring softly. His finger throbbed, red and swollen and just as he was wondering how to move the cat, when Kaidoh murmured something, shifting closer, hand sliding over Inui's stomach. Suddenly, Inui didn't really mind the cat.

The news had ended, giving way to children's programming when Kaidoh woke up. He moved off of Inui, apologies muttered in a sleepy voice, face dangerously scarlet. Inui waved off the words, and pointed to the cat in his lap.

"He likes you." Kaidoh replied, scooping the cat effortlessly from his lap. "He doesn't sleep on just anyone." Later, Inui would add into a new notebook that Kaidoh, and his cat didn't sleep on 'just anyone.'

The days crept by in a blissful haze. Inui shared the household duties, and it pleased him endlessly to watch Kaidoh cook. He wasn't sure exactly what to do with that information, but he kept it to himself. Whenever he mentioned Kaidoh's aptitude in the kitchen, the other man would duck his head and shrug off the praise. The cat treated Inui as a snack, nipping at fingers and toes whenever the opportunity presented itself. Once the cat drew blood, and Kaidoh, flustered and red faced, apologized over and over, hands warm and gentle as they washed Inui's wounds, wrapping the bleeding thumb with a delicate touch.

Inui kept up with his class work, most evenings were spent at the table, Kaidoh opposite him, books and papers spread everywhere. Inui propped his jaw on his fist, willing the words on the page to commit themselves to memory. He could hear Kaidoh speaking quietly, vocabulary words, as he worked through what seemed like an endless identification sheet. The low rumble of Kaidoh's voice, and the dull electronic buzz of the overhead lights lulled Inui away from his own work. Eyes heavy, he shook his head trying to fight off sleep.

"Senpai." Kaidoh's face peered into Inui's. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable in bed?" Inui blinked owlishly, studying Kaidoh's face as his hand came up, fingers tracing along Kaidoh's jaw, thumb brushing over the other man's lower lip. Inui felt Kaidoh's breath hitch, the warm touch of Kaidoh's tongue against his skin, the space between them closing. The kiss was wet, over eager, Inui's mind shaking off sleep when Kaidoh's hands slid hesitantly into his hair, tangling in it. Kaidoh's groan went through Inui, he shifted, pulling Kaidoh down closer to him. It ended too soon, Kaidoh whimpered, face scrunched in pain. "Inui-senpai. Shigeki- my leg." Inui glanced down, to find the cat, claws buried Kaidoh's leg. Muttering about the perks of having a dog, Inui braved the wrath, and teeth of Shigeki to remove the cat from Kaidoh's leg.

When the week was over, Inui moved back to his apartment. The air conditioner worked, too well, as Inui often found himself in near artic conditions. His apartment seemed too big for one person, too quiet, too free of sadistic cats who found him to be nutritionally satisfactory. Inui frowned as he went over the old data, and the data he gathered while he was living with Kaidoh. The results were the same each time he finished the equations- and yet he was confused. Confusion led to desperation, and desperation led to Fuji in his apartment sharing a pot of tea.

"I think you're looking at it the wrong way." Fuji's amusement was evident in his voice, light and barely restraining the laughter. He glanced at a few pages of scrawled numbers and symbols.

"It doesn't make sense." Inui frowned at his tea, he had let it steep too long resulting in a bitter brew.

"Of course it doesn't." Fuji held up a piece of paper. "What does this even mean, Inui?" Fuji's shoulders shook as he spoke. "The width of Kaidoh's shoulders in relation to his height has nothing to do with what you're feeling."

"It doesn't?" Inui glanced up at the crumpled paper.

"No. The direct ratio between the hip and waist measurement will give you the correct integer to use."

"That's not funny, Fuji."

"Have you tried just talking to him?"

Inui paused, mid equation. "About this?" He held up another notebook. Fuji shook his head, leaning in as though he was going to reveal the missing piece.

"Talk to him." Fuji nodded, laughter and teasing gone from his face. "Trust me. You can't get a rational explanation for what you're feeling." Inui considered Fuji's words, leaning back in his chair. "If that doesn't work? You could always use the quadratic equation to determine the firmness of Kaidoh's ass." Inui sputtered on his now cold tea.

Inui went through the next few days confused, considering Fuji's suggestion. Telling Kaidoh would certainly be the most direct route to figuring out what exactly lay between them. The apartment seemingly closing in on him, Inui headed outside, figuring a walk would clear his mind. He took an old route along the riverside the setting sun casting long shadows over everything. Inui turned, hearing footsteps behind him.

"Senpai." Kaidoh came alongside of him, dressed in running gear. "What are you doing?"

"Thinking." Inui responded noting the dull ache in his stomach when he looked at Kaidoh. "Have you finished your run?"

Kaidoh nodded, "I'm on my way home." He looked out onto the river, Inui wasn't sure if the man was blushing or the dim light was playing tricks on him. "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

They jogged back to Kaidoh's, settling into an old rhythm, Kaidoh a step or two ahead of Inui, the familiar feeling calming Inui's rising nerves. Kaidoh let him in, they stood chest to chest in the entry way, crowding against each other. "Inui-senpai." Kaidoh's mouth was too close, yielding under Inui's as they kissed. Inui's back hit the wall, Kaidoh's weight pressed tight against him, one of Inui's knees between Kaidoh's legs, pressing upward slightly. Kaidoh's moan vibrated down Inui's body, rough hands smoothing up Inui's torso. Inui struggled with Kaidoh's shirt, the fabric clung tightly to the man's body inching upward slowly- he pulled away just enough to tug Kaidoh's shirt over his head, dropping it onto the ground. One of Inui's hands tipped Kaidoh's head back, kissing at his neck. Inui trailed the kisses downward, teeth nibbling delicately at curved collar bones, tasting sweat and salt. Kaidoh's raspy groan urged him on, tongue flicking against one nipple, then the other.

Warmth pooled over Inui's skin, Kaidoh's hands tracing over his chest, stomach, his own shirt unbuttoned, tugged from his body. Kaidoh shifted, their hips flush together, rocking slowly, lower lip caught between his teeth. Inui groaned at the sight of Kaidoh moving against him. Inui's fingers dipped under the waistband of Kaidoh's shorts, nails scraping lightly over Kaidoh's hips.


Inui found himself with an armful of Kaidoh, the other man slumped against him, breath puffing hot and damp against his shoulder. "Are- can.. Please." Inui smiled against Kaidoh's hair, gathering the other man up, helping him stand on his own. "Bedroom?" Kaidoh's hand closed around Inui's leading him back.

The bed was almost as soft as the couch, Kaidoh sprawled under Inui, all arms and legs and muscles and warmth. Inui lapped at Kaidoh's skin, enjoying the feeling of the other man arching under him. The shorts were tugged down, tossed aside, Inui's tongue tracing along the underside of Kaidoh's cock. Kaidoh cried out, hips rising, sliding into Inui's mouth. Inui hummed as he sucked, head bobbing between Kaidoh's legs, hands smoothing over taunt skin. He relaxed his jaw, letting Kaidoh thrust into his mouth, hips rocking upward, Inui swallowing the man down. Gently his fingers stroked over Kaidoh's balls, rolling the soft skin in the palm of his hand. Kaidoh tensed, hand tight in Inui's hair as Inui's index finger pressed just inside, pushing past the tight muscle. Inui felt the man tremble as he came, Kaidoh's voice crying out wordlessly. Inui swallowed, nose wrinkling at the taste, which he supposed he'd never really get used to, and licked Kaidoh clean.

Inui stretched out on the bed, watching as Kaidoh's breathing slowly return to normal. "Inui." Kaidoh reached for him, voice raspy and low, causing Inui's cock to twitch in his pants. Inui's mouth moved, but nothing came out, Kaidoh's mouth closing over his, tongue pushing past Inui's lips, sweeping through his mouth. Kaidoh's hands moved slowly over Inui's body, blunt nails scraping over his chest, fingers twisting Inui's nipples. Kaidoh fumbled with the button of Inui's pants, yanking them down over Inui's hips, crawling back up Inui's body, straddling his hips.

"In the nightstand, senpai, there's lube." Kaidoh kissed along Inui's shoulder, and Inui found it very hard to do anything but lay there and enjoy the contact. Kaidoh's words clicked, and he stretched careful not to dislodge the other man who was sucking at his chest to retrieve the bottle. Inui pressed the bottle and a foil wrapped square into Kaidoh's hand, and watched fascinated as Kaidoh unrolled it, putting the condom on Inui. Sticky, cold lube dripped down from the bottle, coating Inui's cock, a few drops landing on his stomach. Inui continued to stare, as Kaidoh sat back, lube slick fingers working, stretching himself. Throat dry, heart pounding Inui watched as Kaidoh's head tipped back wantonly, hips rocking against his own fingers. Inui forgot to breath when Kaidoh moved on top of him, lowering himself onto Inui's cock. He lay still, waiting for Kaidoh to move, hand closed into fists, white knuckled as he gripped the sheets, Kaidoh sinking inch by inch.

Slowly, Kaidoh rocked his hips, moving against Inui. One hand splayed on Inui's stomach, fingers curling as he moved up and down. Inui's hands slid down Kaidoh's chest, settling on his hips, urging the other man on. Inui thrust up, groaning when Kaidoh met his thrust, grinding down. Kaidoh grinned at him, meeting every one of Inui's thrusts, hips rising and falling faster, harder as he rode Inui. His hands roamed Inui's body, tracing and teasing until Inui was nothing but a jumble of nerves and need. Inui rolled upward, bringing Kaidoh's thighs around his hips, angling his thrusts upward. Kaidoh's arms wrapped around Inui's shoulders, clinging as the pace changed, desperate, wanting- Kaidoh's name on Inui's lips as he finally came with a shout. Inui flopped back against the bed, Kaidoh sprawled out on top of him. They kissed, slow, breathless, Inui's hands wandering over Kaidoh's back.

Kaidoh rolled off of Inui, left the room, only to come back a few minutes later with a damp towel. The touch was gentle as Kaidoh cleaned him off, settling in the bed next to Inui. The comforter was drawn up around them, Kaidoh draped over Inui's chest. Satisfied and lazy, Inui couldn't think of anything that would dull the happiness he found in the man wrapped around him. Even if the cat was chewing on his big toe.

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cats always know how to ruin the moment -_-

and Fuji always makes things more confusing.

very enjoyable fic

Thank you, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. :)

I loved it! I've never been able to find many good Inui x Kaidou fanfics from Inui's POV on them having sex and everything. I loved all the details and how Kaidou actually wasn't "attacked" by Inui and actively participated!

Thank you! I'm glad you like it! :) I tried to make it as detailed as possible. Thank you for a lovely comment. :)

Inui hadn't realized the widening gap between them, but as he reviewed the worn notebooks, he could see it clearly.

I love that Inui can see in his past data what he wasn't aware of while it was happening, and then the kind of reversal later on when his data is inadequate to explain his feelings of the moment :).

I also really enjoyed how sensory this was, how I could feel the quiet of the library and the stale, heavy air of Inui's apartment, and how well the pacing fit the mood. Thanks for a really lovely story.

Isn't that how it always is? You can see what happened then, but when it's happening present day, you can't see it? Or maybe that's just me. >.>

Thank you for a lovely comment. I'm glad you liked it!

Inui's always fun when he's confused like this. :) I really liked the sweet domesticity of it all and the way Kaidoh handled things. And the cat, of course!

(Also, I kept expecting Momoshiro to show up at the door, demanding his albums back... *g*)

I love confused!Inui, he's always the most fun to deal with. Cats are evil, I've never met one who didn't have it out for me. :) Thank you, I'm glad you like it.

(not going to lie, I was going to put Momoshiro in there at some point, but the chance went away.)

I loved the apartment-sharing days and the way they naturally resume their friendship and make progress in their relationship, thanks to Kaidoh's advances and in spite of Inui's confusion. It seems Kaidoh had already reached all the necessary conclusions on his own. It's just a pity he didn't top Inui in bed too! :D

that was absolutely perfect
this is the best inukai fic i have ever read
and possible one of the best fics i've ever read period.
thank you so much <3
loved it <3

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